try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
