Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
