i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
