haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My dick has a subreddit
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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