is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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