it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
