I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
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i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
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They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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