my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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