the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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