I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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