I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
