If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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