I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Congratulations! We have a period
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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