i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
