About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
