Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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