he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
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I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
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Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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