Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
