Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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