just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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