You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
