He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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