I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
