Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I want a musical about memes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
