i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
