hotel room ftw
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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