You made me cry and you don't even care
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize