Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
