Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
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Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have feelings that need drinking.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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