1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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