She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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