Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize