My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
