How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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