I like my sex mixed with concussions.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
