your thong is hanging out like whoa
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
