You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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