I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
