I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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