Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
