i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
