I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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