We're facebook friends in real life
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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