It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
