So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
