It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
