tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
