and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
