I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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