a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She's the barista slut.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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