Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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