Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
