i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
