So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
