You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
