im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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