wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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