The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
