the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
