discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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