Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
