I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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