Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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