All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
