My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How many fucks given?
0.12846
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
