so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize