i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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