well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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