peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
