Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
