There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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